post number one: the beginning

university life is a wonderful thing. i would consider this only the second phase of life, following adolescent, kiddy life. only after university are you given the opportunity to do everything on your own. make your own decisions. in our adolescent phase of life, teenagers are blinded as to what are the different choices that one has to make to survive in real life. what bills have to be paid. how to do the groceries. what kind of things we should buy and not buy. what are the things we should learn about and not learn about. but now that we leave home to our various universities, live at our various residences, we finally discover how many choices actually exist in our lives. the reality of choosing the wrong path becomes ever so much closer to heart. how much power do we have? power enough to determine our own futures, change your life from prosperous and plentiful in one second, into desperate and needy in the next.

at the same time, this power we all wield is capable to be used on others. each one of us have the power to alter everyone else's life. in my current stage of life, i am able to see how certain people have made an influence to the lives of the people around them. i myself experienced close friendship for one moment, and emotional defeat in the next. seeing this happen to even myself, i now understand not only the delicacy of human feeling, but as well as the strength in human action. i believe that everyone is capable of this, young or old, weak or strong, because we were made as intelligent beings, all of us able to make our own choices, and therefore capable of making a difference in this world.

i am also beginning to slowly see these differences in the union of my three worlds. for the past four months i have been concentrating on settling at the university of waterloo, as well as in it's chinese christian fellowship. as time progressed, i was exceptionally amazed as to what the university town had to offer, and the passionate and loving people that i could share my life with. in no time, i realized that i used the power i had to make a change to the place, as well as to some people's lives, and they had done the same to me. even now i must say that i've grown very fond of the experiences that i have had at the university, and i trust that many others would say so themselves as well. coming back to toronto became an internal struggle. i was returning back to an unstable world, where all things were uncertain, and friendships could hardly be trusted. some people at home i've always trusted and relied on as a friend and a support, but many others, as i finally admitted, were no less than casual acquaintances that had no desire to accept my friendship. returning back to toronto was different from what i expected. a lot of things changed, but i couldn't pinpoint what. my home did not feel like home. suddenly i was in a place i felt that i didn't belong to, and i had no home. my third and final world brings forth the most challenge and struggle. that world is myself; what makes victor, victor. my own sprititual walk, and my own struggles with sin. in addition, my family life, which is very capable of driving me insane. the next phase of life helped everything grow, including my problems.

fascinatingly, the three worlds began to collide. waterloo stirred with toronto, toronto dipped in waterloo, served with a hefty helping of victor. my eyes are wide open in surprise to see how everything is mixing, and when it is finally done, only THEN will i understand my true influence, my true spiritual gifts, and my true mission that my God has put forth in my life.