it's been rather unfortunate that i haven't had time to write anything for the past few months. i've missed the opportunity to record previous feelings, which have now been replaced with present feelings, and the best i can do now is to reformulate such feelings again, though it would seem to me less meaningful.
(it is also unfortunate that i can only present to you a blog entry like other blog entries, due to these present feelings. )
i have been rather busy with school this term. this 2b term has been dubbed to be one of the toughest academic terms for many engineers. ode, mods, thermo, digital logic and dynamics, certainly makes for a very difficult combination. having the mental preparation for the true difficulty of the term, i had already started working hard from the beginning, resulting in above average midterm marks. the term progresses, and i continue to work hard, but in the end, finals simply could not be beat. for good or for worse, very similar occurences of this happened to many different friends, both close and not as close. more than ever are there friends that worry about passing the term. i can look inside everyone and see what effect school is having on them. the worries that it produces inside each person, and the stresses and frustrations built up, but generally not let out.
it is a scary thought, because such a school has been subconsciously (or consciously) equated to a live war. fellow soldiers, training together, fighting together, side by side. we live together, and struggle together, and overcome together, and such a struggle only brings us close together as a family. we can see in each other what the fighting is doing to us, and sometimes we offer words of encouragement, but other times know that we are powerless to do anything, because you yourself are in the same situation yourself.
or we don't overcome together, and you see your family, shot in the chest, bullet sifting through the body like it was just a simple piece of cloth. the body that was once your friend, falls to the ground, blending with the rest of dying scenery. then they fade away.
a bit dramatic? very! what ached my heart the most this term were those that have had absolutely no rest from such a fight, and are forced to go through such a struggle. maybe i've become more and more weak-hearted, or my notorious actionless care for others has grown even more.
i think that the effects of such a school has numbed my feelings for everything else. how else can one care about a person except for school support? there wasn't any other way. that theme of mind continued until i got sick of it, not feeling any benefits that i potentially created for others. yet the soreness of school was ever present in the people around me, and my heart became torn.
now that school is all over, what does that result in? i've realized what has been missing in these difficult school days, and am working to restore what has left me. back home in toronto again, i'm to readjust to living back at home, as well as reaccustom myself to groups of friends (questionable?), and who i am to be in these groups. my mind has been a mess, losing ability to focus a thought on myself for long periods of time, and even more difficulty thinking of ways to improve myself, as well as muster motivation to do so.
in any case, back in unfamiliar toronto, it's my own responsibility to make it all familiar again, perhaps even more than that for once.
(i think i will see some interesting comments.)
Friday, December 22, 2006
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
a danger
recently i had to format my computer, because it was being stupid. something to do with the boot-up. everyone knows the grueling process of having to reinstall everything and reset all your settings. it's a pain in the butt, i know, i had to do it. thinkpads have programs that automate the formatting for you, but even then there's still the installing everything again that takes long.
now my roommates on the other hand have an alternative solution. they use some program that creates an image of their laptop. this image remembers all the programs and all the settings and all the data, you would save this image on a cd or something. then you clear out ur computer, and then all you gotta do is stick the image back on the computer, and everything will be all done. holy smokes isn't that genius?
now what if you were to do that, but when you put the image back on, you realize the image wasn't perfect? if your image had a problem, then the problem would carry over after you reformatted, and you are back to the same problem you started with.
because this had occurred to me recently, it reminded me of a very real idea that i learned over the years. the reality of getting to know a person is imperfect. to get to know a person, i would say you need to spend time with them, do things with them, talk with them, and all that good stuff. as you do that, all these actions and memories are inputted in your mind, and soon, an image is formed in your mind of that person. that's all fine and dandy, but the unfortunate thing is that the other person has no access or control to this image. the only person that has access to that image.. is you. because of that, you have the power to do whatever you want to this image. on the natural path of a friendship, i think this image generally stays about constant. but what is also natural to occur is that a person might subconciously change such an image based on their feelings. i say feelings, possibly meaning feelings of attraction for the person, or maybe feelings of repulsion.. or maybe just feelings in general. i don't know, feelings are easily prone to change and can cause a great effect on.. practically anything. these feelings are usually generated by spending more time with the person, but that may not be required in the special case.
so the danger can be easily seen that the image may not (and most likely not) correspond to the true character of the person, and the person could eventually start to assume certain things about their friend, thinking that they know their friend so well, that the image in their minds is so accurate, that it must be true about them. i learned that it was very easy to forget that, an image is just an image, and in this case, getting a 100% perfect image is impossible.
a danger? maybe it isn't that big of a deal to think wrong of something about a friend. that is true. but i feel that it becomes an issue when you start to be friends with the image, instead of the person. this can more readily if there is no continual contact with the person. i myself have experienced this thoroughly, and have been struggling with this for a while. i had begun to formulate my own image of a person, and before i knew it, my image was totally different from the actual person. it is unfortunate that there would be misunderstandings about the character and interests of a person, but it is absolutely disastrous if you made a bad decision based on your incorrectness about your friend. please do watch out for this, and remember that your image isn't always perfect. never treat your image as your friend, because your friend is much more than an image in your mind.
think about it another way. you have the power to display what you want other people to have as an image for you in their minds. therefore, everything you do and say has an effect on what their image will be like. you should know that this image will not be perfect, and can never fully represent you. but the unfortunate thing is that it may, for those of your friends that don't fully understand and grasp the concept of an image. therefore, you should provide as accurate a display for your friends as possible, such that no negative events or misunderstandings would happen because of it.
phew. all common sense? maybe it is, but i feel it's a lesson learned and an idea worth remembering. think about that next time you format your computer.
now my roommates on the other hand have an alternative solution. they use some program that creates an image of their laptop. this image remembers all the programs and all the settings and all the data, you would save this image on a cd or something. then you clear out ur computer, and then all you gotta do is stick the image back on the computer, and everything will be all done. holy smokes isn't that genius?
now what if you were to do that, but when you put the image back on, you realize the image wasn't perfect? if your image had a problem, then the problem would carry over after you reformatted, and you are back to the same problem you started with.
because this had occurred to me recently, it reminded me of a very real idea that i learned over the years. the reality of getting to know a person is imperfect. to get to know a person, i would say you need to spend time with them, do things with them, talk with them, and all that good stuff. as you do that, all these actions and memories are inputted in your mind, and soon, an image is formed in your mind of that person. that's all fine and dandy, but the unfortunate thing is that the other person has no access or control to this image. the only person that has access to that image.. is you. because of that, you have the power to do whatever you want to this image. on the natural path of a friendship, i think this image generally stays about constant. but what is also natural to occur is that a person might subconciously change such an image based on their feelings. i say feelings, possibly meaning feelings of attraction for the person, or maybe feelings of repulsion.. or maybe just feelings in general. i don't know, feelings are easily prone to change and can cause a great effect on.. practically anything. these feelings are usually generated by spending more time with the person, but that may not be required in the special case.
so the danger can be easily seen that the image may not (and most likely not) correspond to the true character of the person, and the person could eventually start to assume certain things about their friend, thinking that they know their friend so well, that the image in their minds is so accurate, that it must be true about them. i learned that it was very easy to forget that, an image is just an image, and in this case, getting a 100% perfect image is impossible.
a danger? maybe it isn't that big of a deal to think wrong of something about a friend. that is true. but i feel that it becomes an issue when you start to be friends with the image, instead of the person. this can more readily if there is no continual contact with the person. i myself have experienced this thoroughly, and have been struggling with this for a while. i had begun to formulate my own image of a person, and before i knew it, my image was totally different from the actual person. it is unfortunate that there would be misunderstandings about the character and interests of a person, but it is absolutely disastrous if you made a bad decision based on your incorrectness about your friend. please do watch out for this, and remember that your image isn't always perfect. never treat your image as your friend, because your friend is much more than an image in your mind.
think about it another way. you have the power to display what you want other people to have as an image for you in their minds. therefore, everything you do and say has an effect on what their image will be like. you should know that this image will not be perfect, and can never fully represent you. but the unfortunate thing is that it may, for those of your friends that don't fully understand and grasp the concept of an image. therefore, you should provide as accurate a display for your friends as possible, such that no negative events or misunderstandings would happen because of it.
phew. all common sense? maybe it is, but i feel it's a lesson learned and an idea worth remembering. think about that next time you format your computer.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Sunday, October 08, 2006
the theological depth of forgetting norway
for those of you who don't know, me and my waterloo housemates live on mcdougall rd in waterloo, and we've been known as mcdougall ever since. living with 4 other guys in the same house for almost 5 months now, there's been many experiences that we've had on our own, and we've grown to be like each other in different ways.
one of such ways is that we've began to pick up each other's mannerisms. i know that for a fact because i've heard many of my own catch phrases being used by my roommates. my fickle sarcasm has also been brushed off to some of them. let me explain to you one of mcdougall's most common phrases: "forget norway".
it all started in our very first term, when our rez friend jon lau showed us a video about lions and tigers. here is the link to the video:
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/kenya/
as you can see, this video is absolutely mesmerizing, and once this was shown again to mcdougall, all of us have fell in love with it, and our house has even been nicknamed "kenya", and unspoken meanings were created for lions and tigers. phrases like "holy crap!" was immediately replaced by "holy crap lions!"
but of course, i would say the most influential statement of the kenya video is the phrase "forget norway!". as seen in the video, the phrase was used to emphasize the importance of kenya, while at the same time demeaning the value of norway. of course, norway is nowhere related to what the video was portraying, and most people would consider the comment as "random" or "it doesn't make any sense" or any derivative of such comments. but mcdougall has understood this phrase much more fully.
we understood that this phrase can clearly emphasize the importance of one thing, while decreasing the importance of another. therefore, whenever in such situations, the phrase can easily depict such an impression to our fellow housemates. because of its flexibility, the phrase soon became part of our normal lingo. and as i thought more and more of it, and the different situations where it's been used, i believe that there's been a theological lesson embedded in these two simple words.
forgetting norway reminds us of the things that we place too much importance on, and elevates what we do need to place importance on. many times i find myself dwelling on thoughts and ideas that are not good for me. instead, my focus should be on God alone. we should all be lifting our concerns, burdens and energies to Christ, because he should be our source. many times we find ourselves overburdening ourselves. maybe it's with school, or maybe it's with relatoinships with particular people, or maybe it's with just work in general. if we spent all our time and energy doing all of this for our own good, is that the right way? maybe at these moments, it's time to tell yourself to forget norway, and give it up to God.
therefore, i encourage you to give thought to think about what have you been spending all your time doing, and what of such things have been too self-focused. if you want to talk about this subject, feel free to msn me and we can talk. and you can also tell me what you think about the video, and if you see any more lessons that God may be teaching you through such a rich demonstration of multimedia.
and for those that think this blog is stupid and pointless.. forget norway man.
(today after church, i was conversing with some friends from church, and they've given me positive feedback about the interest of the content of this blog. to the point that i've often been referred to as the name of this blog, victro. thank you to all supporters of victro's blog!)
one of such ways is that we've began to pick up each other's mannerisms. i know that for a fact because i've heard many of my own catch phrases being used by my roommates. my fickle sarcasm has also been brushed off to some of them. let me explain to you one of mcdougall's most common phrases: "forget norway".
it all started in our very first term, when our rez friend jon lau showed us a video about lions and tigers. here is the link to the video:
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/kenya/
as you can see, this video is absolutely mesmerizing, and once this was shown again to mcdougall, all of us have fell in love with it, and our house has even been nicknamed "kenya", and unspoken meanings were created for lions and tigers. phrases like "holy crap!" was immediately replaced by "holy crap lions!"
but of course, i would say the most influential statement of the kenya video is the phrase "forget norway!". as seen in the video, the phrase was used to emphasize the importance of kenya, while at the same time demeaning the value of norway. of course, norway is nowhere related to what the video was portraying, and most people would consider the comment as "random" or "it doesn't make any sense" or any derivative of such comments. but mcdougall has understood this phrase much more fully.
we understood that this phrase can clearly emphasize the importance of one thing, while decreasing the importance of another. therefore, whenever in such situations, the phrase can easily depict such an impression to our fellow housemates. because of its flexibility, the phrase soon became part of our normal lingo. and as i thought more and more of it, and the different situations where it's been used, i believe that there's been a theological lesson embedded in these two simple words.
forgetting norway reminds us of the things that we place too much importance on, and elevates what we do need to place importance on. many times i find myself dwelling on thoughts and ideas that are not good for me. instead, my focus should be on God alone. we should all be lifting our concerns, burdens and energies to Christ, because he should be our source. many times we find ourselves overburdening ourselves. maybe it's with school, or maybe it's with relatoinships with particular people, or maybe it's with just work in general. if we spent all our time and energy doing all of this for our own good, is that the right way? maybe at these moments, it's time to tell yourself to forget norway, and give it up to God.
therefore, i encourage you to give thought to think about what have you been spending all your time doing, and what of such things have been too self-focused. if you want to talk about this subject, feel free to msn me and we can talk. and you can also tell me what you think about the video, and if you see any more lessons that God may be teaching you through such a rich demonstration of multimedia.
and for those that think this blog is stupid and pointless.. forget norway man.
(today after church, i was conversing with some friends from church, and they've given me positive feedback about the interest of the content of this blog. to the point that i've often been referred to as the name of this blog, victro. thank you to all supporters of victro's blog!)
Saturday, September 16, 2006
new mcdougall
another school term back in waterloo.
students, welcome back to another term of school. this term is going to be very exciting. dynamics, ODEs, mods 2, thermo, and digital logic. 2b or not 2b indeed.
for those who don't know, my current school term is said to be the most difficult of all the terms in mechanical engineering.
what else is exciting is new mcdougall. mcdougall has MOVED. we've moved just across the street to 74 mcdougall rd. our house is beautiful. do come visit us if you have the chance. we have plenty of distractions to offer.
there are a lot of new frosh this year at uwccf, including some from scbc. i think that's really exciting because helping the frosh to adjust to university life and finding a spiritual is a great ministry, and its importance only increases to me for those who i've known from before.
i am currently experiencing a major mind/life block, where i don't know what to do or don't know what to think. i suspect this feeling could be related to moving out of toronto and not having to live with constant family related issues, and of my decisions are forcedly made for me. i feel all the more totally uninteresting, and the writing juices just aren't flowing, which explains my lack of consistent blog postings.
i'm working on getting things back on track.
come talk to me.
students, welcome back to another term of school. this term is going to be very exciting. dynamics, ODEs, mods 2, thermo, and digital logic. 2b or not 2b indeed.
for those who don't know, my current school term is said to be the most difficult of all the terms in mechanical engineering.
what else is exciting is new mcdougall. mcdougall has MOVED. we've moved just across the street to 74 mcdougall rd. our house is beautiful. do come visit us if you have the chance. we have plenty of distractions to offer.
there are a lot of new frosh this year at uwccf, including some from scbc. i think that's really exciting because helping the frosh to adjust to university life and finding a spiritual is a great ministry, and its importance only increases to me for those who i've known from before.
i am currently experiencing a major mind/life block, where i don't know what to do or don't know what to think. i suspect this feeling could be related to moving out of toronto and not having to live with constant family related issues, and of my decisions are forcedly made for me. i feel all the more totally uninteresting, and the writing juices just aren't flowing, which explains my lack of consistent blog postings.
i'm working on getting things back on track.
come talk to me.
Monday, August 07, 2006
people, i really can't be interesting all the time.
i don't think that i am a good conversationalist, and can easily kill any conversation. i can't usually think of good witty comments until after a conversation is over, and it's too late.
in fact, i'm quite a dull person. i am pretty boring. i hope that you can see that i usually try pretty hard, but it's my undeniable nature that i am a dull person.
i'm not interesting.
i don't think that i am a good conversationalist, and can easily kill any conversation. i can't usually think of good witty comments until after a conversation is over, and it's too late.
in fact, i'm quite a dull person. i am pretty boring. i hope that you can see that i usually try pretty hard, but it's my undeniable nature that i am a dull person.
i'm not interesting.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
little victor strikes again
a big part of life is based on how you react to circumstances. if those circumstances are especially difficult, then life becomes a test of how well you can deal with it to lead to a desirable outcome.
my sleep schedule depends too, depends on where i am. during school.. i get to decide on my own. though the guys i live with, we try to keep an eye on each other, gotta be able to wake up in time for class, i would say that i have the most sporadic sleep schedule out of everyone in the house. usually i would aim for 1 or 2, usually doing work then. but on bad nights, i could be awake at like 430 or later, for no apparent reason. troubled mind, issues to think about. but that's not the point.. the point is.. that i usually aim to sleep at 1 or 2. in the beginning, around 11 or 12.. but ha that usually doesn't last.
but at home it's a different story. if i'm back at home, usually for work term.. then my family would want me to sleep at like.. 11 or earlier. they are very adamant on it too, and have not so good methods in coercing me to do so. drives me off the wall.
bad situations only lead to worse. left angry and disrespected, more doors open to darker paths. soon it becomes a inner war of self-control and self-discipline. the hardest kind.
yes, things are bound to be bad, everyone knows. but it's how you deal and react with things that make it better or worse, right? make one wrong decision, say one wrong word, and things will go downhill so easily. i must say that things haven't been fanstatic with me, and i've been going downhill a fair bit.
little victor strikes again. weird to see myself say this, but i start to see myself more and more like a kid, needing to learn about myself, what i want, and what i should strive to become. gotta pwn that victor jr.
my sleep schedule depends too, depends on where i am. during school.. i get to decide on my own. though the guys i live with, we try to keep an eye on each other, gotta be able to wake up in time for class, i would say that i have the most sporadic sleep schedule out of everyone in the house. usually i would aim for 1 or 2, usually doing work then. but on bad nights, i could be awake at like 430 or later, for no apparent reason. troubled mind, issues to think about. but that's not the point.. the point is.. that i usually aim to sleep at 1 or 2. in the beginning, around 11 or 12.. but ha that usually doesn't last.
but at home it's a different story. if i'm back at home, usually for work term.. then my family would want me to sleep at like.. 11 or earlier. they are very adamant on it too, and have not so good methods in coercing me to do so. drives me off the wall.
bad situations only lead to worse. left angry and disrespected, more doors open to darker paths. soon it becomes a inner war of self-control and self-discipline. the hardest kind.
yes, things are bound to be bad, everyone knows. but it's how you deal and react with things that make it better or worse, right? make one wrong decision, say one wrong word, and things will go downhill so easily. i must say that things haven't been fanstatic with me, and i've been going downhill a fair bit.
little victor strikes again. weird to see myself say this, but i start to see myself more and more like a kid, needing to learn about myself, what i want, and what i should strive to become. gotta pwn that victor jr.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
poll
what time do you usually sleep on a weekday night?
who or what usually helps you to decide that and enforce that?
please enter your comments
who or what usually helps you to decide that and enforce that?
please enter your comments
Monday, June 12, 2006
bombardier aerospace
so it's been a few days since i've been employed at bombardier aerospace. it's at wilson and dufferin, which is about a 20 minute drive from my place. even during rush hour yes.. i managed to find small street shortcuts to get me through rush hour traffic.
for those who don't know, i've also been doing a whole lot of nothing. reading manuals. chatting to ppl if i'm lucky enough to have the opportunity and the right things to say. socializing with adults is quite different than socializing with peers. would you think so?
it took me a day to get my own phone (which was actually just a phone from some guy that retired.. still had his voice messages in there), and i think it'd still take many days until i get my own computer. without it, i'll just be sitting there reading again. this week, bombardier is holding a conference at the royal york hotel. i get to go on wednesday, thursday and friday, so things would be a lot more interesting.. and that means a lot less sitting there reading! sweet.
though earlier i was just doing some math. after an 8 hour day at work, i get home at around 515.. i havta sleep at latest 1130. minus showering and eating and time like that.. i only get maybe 5 hours to myself each day. that doesn't sound like very much, does it?
for those who don't know, i've also been doing a whole lot of nothing. reading manuals. chatting to ppl if i'm lucky enough to have the opportunity and the right things to say. socializing with adults is quite different than socializing with peers. would you think so?
it took me a day to get my own phone (which was actually just a phone from some guy that retired.. still had his voice messages in there), and i think it'd still take many days until i get my own computer. without it, i'll just be sitting there reading again. this week, bombardier is holding a conference at the royal york hotel. i get to go on wednesday, thursday and friday, so things would be a lot more interesting.. and that means a lot less sitting there reading! sweet.
though earlier i was just doing some math. after an 8 hour day at work, i get home at around 515.. i havta sleep at latest 1130. minus showering and eating and time like that.. i only get maybe 5 hours to myself each day. that doesn't sound like very much, does it?
Friday, June 02, 2006
what a week
i've started a new writing project.. so most of my creative juices have gone to that.. so if this is more boring than usual, please forgive me, i'll do better next time.
but this week has had many interesting events, so it's worthwhile to mention them. last weekend when i went to waterloo, i got hit with a softball in the eye for the first time. the weekend was arguably ruined because of that; i got double vision and had trouble seeing properly. i spent 4-5 hours in the hospital.. which was all of saturday afternoon. the next few days were difficult as well. derek's car just wouldn't start, and we ended up getting it towed. thanks to long distance phone calling. getting hit in the eye meant sacrificing two softball games, but that wasn't part of the deal for becca. sunday became a desperate race to get back to toronto by 6.. i did all i can, but funny that i made it in before she did in the tow truck haha. the weekend was much more bearable because of the friends i spent it with. thanks to bily derek amy and jorge for accompanying me to the hospital. and thanks to the mcdougall boys, becca and amy for spending the weekend with me. sorry jacqueline and jane that u couldn't join us cuz of first aid and CRT. it was nice to see everyone again.
another worthwhile mention is that i got employed to bombardier aerospace. isn't that awesome? not of my doing.. was the finger of God. i don't deserve this. but i am starting on june 5. i'll tell everyone more about what it's like! thanks to those that prayed for me all the time. i really do appreciate it. if only i could be a better brother in christ to u than i am now.
indeed. once employment starts, i think things will improve for me. i'm taking piano lessons again soon.. with AMBROSE. that's gonna be huge. softball.. my first playable game is this coming sunday, i don't care if my parents don't want me to play. and no i'm not gonna wear a hockey helmet while playing. of course, i'm still slowly chippin away my reading list.. reading "a tree grows in brooklyn" now.. it's a good book, amy, i like it so far. other books that have bookmarks in them right now are.. the prince, life on the edge, mere christianity, and purpose driven life. perhaps i'll start east of eden soon.
what should you take from this reading? hmm well i can try to come up with something.. one.. chinese parents are fickle fickle people. over my week of events, i've gotten my mother angry for no apparent reason, multiple times. maybe they should learn to relax and remember that we're not 5 years old anymore. uhh.. two.. always pay attention when you're playing sports and not try to multitask. i tried to see all my surroundings, and i learned that my surroundings was that everyone left. and i also got ball in face. three.. u can always be a better friend and brother. the question is never whether a person deserves it or not, cuz chances are, they do. who am i to say that someone doesn't deserve it? maybe they don't deserve it based on their behaviour to me, but is that everything? if there's any way i can improve on that facet.. please help me.
i think that's it for now. please come talk to me, friends, i like friends.
victro
but this week has had many interesting events, so it's worthwhile to mention them. last weekend when i went to waterloo, i got hit with a softball in the eye for the first time. the weekend was arguably ruined because of that; i got double vision and had trouble seeing properly. i spent 4-5 hours in the hospital.. which was all of saturday afternoon. the next few days were difficult as well. derek's car just wouldn't start, and we ended up getting it towed. thanks to long distance phone calling. getting hit in the eye meant sacrificing two softball games, but that wasn't part of the deal for becca. sunday became a desperate race to get back to toronto by 6.. i did all i can, but funny that i made it in before she did in the tow truck haha. the weekend was much more bearable because of the friends i spent it with. thanks to bily derek amy and jorge for accompanying me to the hospital. and thanks to the mcdougall boys, becca and amy for spending the weekend with me. sorry jacqueline and jane that u couldn't join us cuz of first aid and CRT. it was nice to see everyone again.
another worthwhile mention is that i got employed to bombardier aerospace. isn't that awesome? not of my doing.. was the finger of God. i don't deserve this. but i am starting on june 5. i'll tell everyone more about what it's like! thanks to those that prayed for me all the time. i really do appreciate it. if only i could be a better brother in christ to u than i am now.
indeed. once employment starts, i think things will improve for me. i'm taking piano lessons again soon.. with AMBROSE. that's gonna be huge. softball.. my first playable game is this coming sunday, i don't care if my parents don't want me to play. and no i'm not gonna wear a hockey helmet while playing. of course, i'm still slowly chippin away my reading list.. reading "a tree grows in brooklyn" now.. it's a good book, amy, i like it so far. other books that have bookmarks in them right now are.. the prince, life on the edge, mere christianity, and purpose driven life. perhaps i'll start east of eden soon.
what should you take from this reading? hmm well i can try to come up with something.. one.. chinese parents are fickle fickle people. over my week of events, i've gotten my mother angry for no apparent reason, multiple times. maybe they should learn to relax and remember that we're not 5 years old anymore. uhh.. two.. always pay attention when you're playing sports and not try to multitask. i tried to see all my surroundings, and i learned that my surroundings was that everyone left. and i also got ball in face. three.. u can always be a better friend and brother. the question is never whether a person deserves it or not, cuz chances are, they do. who am i to say that someone doesn't deserve it? maybe they don't deserve it based on their behaviour to me, but is that everything? if there's any way i can improve on that facet.. please help me.
i think that's it for now. please come talk to me, friends, i like friends.
victro
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
war strategies
The fields were scattered with corpses. It was night, but the unusually bright moonlight lit the hills pale white. If you looked out carefully enough, you could see some men putting out the fires. Listen out carefully enough and you could hear shouting and screaming, either in pain or in desperation to save themselves from death.
Nightfall was the calm. If there was any fairness in warfare, this would be the only rule. No battle at the dead of the night. Even soldiers have to sleep: to refresh and reenergize themselves in preparation to kill relentlessly again the next day. Of course, this short two hours of assumed peace is also the time for the captains of the armies to gather and strategize. Another reason why the calm was so much more dangerous: the leaders of the host all congregated in one tent.
Tonight (like any night), the Captains of Spira reunited in a very improbable tent to keep the enemy guessing. It was small and cramped, but the captains managed to sit comfortably at the table. A map of the land was on the table, obviously used for planning. There were torches that lit the tent, and guards standing on the outside on the outlook.
"We finished the count on casualties tonight. We're looking at 425 dead and some 1000 are injured. Looks like we're lowering the casualty count today." reported Captain Wakka, who they call Wingfoot because he was fast on his feet.
"An improvement, but not good enough. We must focus on stealth and defense, Intelligence leader." Sir Auron, the leader of the Captains of Spira, looking at no one in particular. "What is the report on available weaponry, Kimahri?"
Kimahri, Captain of the First Fleet of Gagazet, a man of few words. "About 2000 spears. 2500 swords. Still some 500 calvary. Archers suffered loss. Catapults are fine."
"Looks like we still got enough weapon to win this battle." said Captain Tidus Atanamir, Captian of the First Fleet of Zanarkand. Not only was Tidus a powerful warrior, stopping enemies in their tracks by his skill in arms, but he was also the strategist of the team. His experience in warfare and battle tactics gave him an edge against the enemy.
Sir Auron brushed his hand across the map, measuring here and there. "The enemy looks to be about 100m away shortest right now. High ground on both ends here and there." He points to the two hills that the enemy occupied. "Hills look to be about 30m tall Sneak in through the valley and scout the layout. Target weaponry, supplies, medics, anything. Get those guys out of their quick, and then we send in a left/right flank attack before the break of day."
"We're the ones on the open plain, so we too will have to look out for attacks on any front. They have protection of the hills, and higher ground advantage would surely decimate our troops. Catapults are slow, and archers are few, ya?" Wakka said.
"Yeah you're right. But we could lure them down from the hills, and maybe start an ambush from behind the hills. Any ideas, Tidus?" asked Auron.
"We have weapons. We have open plain. The enemy has higher ground advantage, so we should be able to detect their approach fast. Supplies seem sufficient for now. Scouts report and say that enemy status is... good for us. Our guess is that their numbers are declining, which means that there's a good chance that we will get the first strike in the morning, if we can recover fast enough before the sun rises."
"So everything is looking good for us, Captain. We must attack! Sir Auron's plan is worth a shot." Captain Yuna the Iron Maiden interrupted Tidus. She led the First Fleet of Besaid, and was the only female captain among them. She wielded the sword as skillfully as any other man, and sometimes more powerful.
Tidus thought, and the others watched him.
"Gather all the troops in together. Keep them close, and stand defense. Protect our supplies. They will come and attack first."
The captains gaped at him, absolutely shocked at his idea.
"But Captain! You said it yourself, we have the advantage right now! Shouldn't we use what we have and attack the enemy? We need to take this open opportunity!" Yuna exclaimed.
"She's right, Tidus. We could lead them out to open land and attack them from both sides. It's really on our side, ya?" Wakka said.
Auron said nothing.
"I'm sure of it. Gather together, come in and guard. And we wait."
Nightfall was the calm. If there was any fairness in warfare, this would be the only rule. No battle at the dead of the night. Even soldiers have to sleep: to refresh and reenergize themselves in preparation to kill relentlessly again the next day. Of course, this short two hours of assumed peace is also the time for the captains of the armies to gather and strategize. Another reason why the calm was so much more dangerous: the leaders of the host all congregated in one tent.
Tonight (like any night), the Captains of Spira reunited in a very improbable tent to keep the enemy guessing. It was small and cramped, but the captains managed to sit comfortably at the table. A map of the land was on the table, obviously used for planning. There were torches that lit the tent, and guards standing on the outside on the outlook.
"We finished the count on casualties tonight. We're looking at 425 dead and some 1000 are injured. Looks like we're lowering the casualty count today." reported Captain Wakka, who they call Wingfoot because he was fast on his feet.
"An improvement, but not good enough. We must focus on stealth and defense, Intelligence leader." Sir Auron, the leader of the Captains of Spira, looking at no one in particular. "What is the report on available weaponry, Kimahri?"
Kimahri, Captain of the First Fleet of Gagazet, a man of few words. "About 2000 spears. 2500 swords. Still some 500 calvary. Archers suffered loss. Catapults are fine."
"Looks like we still got enough weapon to win this battle." said Captain Tidus Atanamir, Captian of the First Fleet of Zanarkand. Not only was Tidus a powerful warrior, stopping enemies in their tracks by his skill in arms, but he was also the strategist of the team. His experience in warfare and battle tactics gave him an edge against the enemy.
Sir Auron brushed his hand across the map, measuring here and there. "The enemy looks to be about 100m away shortest right now. High ground on both ends here and there." He points to the two hills that the enemy occupied. "Hills look to be about 30m tall Sneak in through the valley and scout the layout. Target weaponry, supplies, medics, anything. Get those guys out of their quick, and then we send in a left/right flank attack before the break of day."
"We're the ones on the open plain, so we too will have to look out for attacks on any front. They have protection of the hills, and higher ground advantage would surely decimate our troops. Catapults are slow, and archers are few, ya?" Wakka said.
"Yeah you're right. But we could lure them down from the hills, and maybe start an ambush from behind the hills. Any ideas, Tidus?" asked Auron.
"We have weapons. We have open plain. The enemy has higher ground advantage, so we should be able to detect their approach fast. Supplies seem sufficient for now. Scouts report and say that enemy status is... good for us. Our guess is that their numbers are declining, which means that there's a good chance that we will get the first strike in the morning, if we can recover fast enough before the sun rises."
"So everything is looking good for us, Captain. We must attack! Sir Auron's plan is worth a shot." Captain Yuna the Iron Maiden interrupted Tidus. She led the First Fleet of Besaid, and was the only female captain among them. She wielded the sword as skillfully as any other man, and sometimes more powerful.
Tidus thought, and the others watched him.
"Gather all the troops in together. Keep them close, and stand defense. Protect our supplies. They will come and attack first."
The captains gaped at him, absolutely shocked at his idea.
"But Captain! You said it yourself, we have the advantage right now! Shouldn't we use what we have and attack the enemy? We need to take this open opportunity!" Yuna exclaimed.
"She's right, Tidus. We could lead them out to open land and attack them from both sides. It's really on our side, ya?" Wakka said.
Auron said nothing.
"I'm sure of it. Gather together, come in and guard. And we wait."
Monday, May 01, 2006
a new term
a new term officially begins today. waterloo starts school today, the summer continues for those without school, and other university students are about finished exams.
and me, almost 3 weeks since done exams now, still without a coop job. being back at home, i question myself what i want to do being back in toronto. i've signed up to play for socs sr in ccsa softball (with a team of 40, i'll probably get to bat and field just once a game). with my heart so set on being back, is toronto the right place to be for me this summer?
being alone again is a test of faith and perseverance. only i can tell myself what is right and wrong, and only i have the power to change my actions. i've discovered that a large part of my mind hasn't been in use. this discovery was shown to me by looking through my old elementary school journals, and realizing that those thought processes were no longer in my head. such a discovery prompts me to find a way to restore such processes, and perhaps have an edge in controlling myself of what i do. of course, faith in God's strength is also a factor in this issue.
but anyway, i hope everyone has a good term. i hope i will too, as soon as i know what kind of a term it is.
and me, almost 3 weeks since done exams now, still without a coop job. being back at home, i question myself what i want to do being back in toronto. i've signed up to play for socs sr in ccsa softball (with a team of 40, i'll probably get to bat and field just once a game). with my heart so set on being back, is toronto the right place to be for me this summer?
being alone again is a test of faith and perseverance. only i can tell myself what is right and wrong, and only i have the power to change my actions. i've discovered that a large part of my mind hasn't been in use. this discovery was shown to me by looking through my old elementary school journals, and realizing that those thought processes were no longer in my head. such a discovery prompts me to find a way to restore such processes, and perhaps have an edge in controlling myself of what i do. of course, faith in God's strength is also a factor in this issue.
but anyway, i hope everyone has a good term. i hope i will too, as soon as i know what kind of a term it is.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
"it's impossible. "
"what do you mean it's impossible? you can do it, everyone does it."
"no it's really just not working. i can't do it."
pause.
"have you tried everything?"
"it defies all logic. it doesn't make any sense. finding a way to distract myself only fills it with an air detached from reality. looking at it straight on just makes it worse. i can't stop it."
"i'm sorry man.. i don't know what to tell you. you just.. stop. what about the other.."
"don't talk about the other thing. it's not working out. one moment you think you're alright, and the next one, you're swamped."
"bummer.. but.. other people have done it, you can too!"
"i know other people have done it..."
pause.
"how are things looking for this coming week?"
"it's as worse as it can get. only a week left now. and i'm in no condition to deal with it all."
"that's only what you say and think. it's not true man, don't be tricked like that. you have all the strength and wisdom to go through all of this."
"i can't.."
"there's no use hanging onto things that won't do you any good man. you have to just.. stop. start over. everyday is a brand new chance for you to start fresh. i mean.. it's getting close to the end of things now, and if anything you should make the most of what is in front of you, instead of wasting it away. it's not a one man world, there are others around you. and after a while, things are going to reset themselves, and perhaps history may replay itself, but chances are, you have to make a new history for yourself."
"it's not gonna wait for me, right?"
"it sure isn't. so what do you say?"
pause.
"i can't do all of this on my own. i don't have it in me anymore..."
"you do. and there's so many of us around to help and support you. and there's a God that loves you infinitely, with a power to heal you. but you have to be broken to him."
"sigh. i'm scared. what's gonna come out of this... "
"you have to just forget about it.. don't worry, because it will be alright in the end."
who's right?
"what do you mean it's impossible? you can do it, everyone does it."
"no it's really just not working. i can't do it."
pause.
"have you tried everything?"
"it defies all logic. it doesn't make any sense. finding a way to distract myself only fills it with an air detached from reality. looking at it straight on just makes it worse. i can't stop it."
"i'm sorry man.. i don't know what to tell you. you just.. stop. what about the other.."
"don't talk about the other thing. it's not working out. one moment you think you're alright, and the next one, you're swamped."
"bummer.. but.. other people have done it, you can too!"
"i know other people have done it..."
pause.
"how are things looking for this coming week?"
"it's as worse as it can get. only a week left now. and i'm in no condition to deal with it all."
"that's only what you say and think. it's not true man, don't be tricked like that. you have all the strength and wisdom to go through all of this."
"i can't.."
"there's no use hanging onto things that won't do you any good man. you have to just.. stop. start over. everyday is a brand new chance for you to start fresh. i mean.. it's getting close to the end of things now, and if anything you should make the most of what is in front of you, instead of wasting it away. it's not a one man world, there are others around you. and after a while, things are going to reset themselves, and perhaps history may replay itself, but chances are, you have to make a new history for yourself."
"it's not gonna wait for me, right?"
"it sure isn't. so what do you say?"
pause.
"i can't do all of this on my own. i don't have it in me anymore..."
"you do. and there's so many of us around to help and support you. and there's a God that loves you infinitely, with a power to heal you. but you have to be broken to him."
"sigh. i'm scared. what's gonna come out of this... "
"you have to just forget about it.. don't worry, because it will be alright in the end."
who's right?
Monday, March 20, 2006
impaired vision
"Do you know what it's like to have bad vision? today, we enjoy the luxuries of paper-thin eyeglasses, even thinner contact lenses, and even laser precise eye surgery to cure blindness. but even these things, as technologically improved as they are over the years, they are only temporary. one moment without your glasses, and what can you see? colours smeared and faded into a space without depth. edges invisible, incapable of distinguish object to object.
(Do you know how frustrating it is to look for something you’ve lost? Like your keys in the morning, or a belt that you’re missing. Maybe it’s your sunglasses or wallet...That kind of frustrating. Got that feeling in your head? Imagine it ten times worse, because you’re not quite sure what you’re looking for, and you know you can’t go on without it. That’s what I’m feeling right now.)
you find your glasses. you put them on. what can you see? seems clear, but you look to the right, and it's blurry. you look up a bit, and there's a thick fuzzy line in your field of vision. you look up a bit more, and you see the frame, and beyond that it's unchartered terrirtory. it's not clear at all."
i found the glasses cloth, and took off my glasses. gave em a wipe here, and a wipe there, and i put them back on. clear again. some fuzzy streaks, but that can't be helped. my desk is a mess. papers here, books there. i opened my drawer, and a clear green light glowed into sight. i took out the green stone, and closed the drawer. it was pretty. the stone was crowned with a golden frame, and a majestic light shone from the deep inside. it stung my heart to look at it, because it was so close to me, and because of the thought of what i was about to do to it.
i looked into the stone. i remembered.. happiness, confidence, love. scenes of past memories flashed before me, deep inside the green light. it still stung my heart to look at it. the light soon began to fade, as those wonderful feelings began to fade in me as well. perhaps it just wasn't right. perhaps i was all wrong about it. where could i possibly be going with this?
i grasped the stone hard, and the light left. into the kitchen, the garbage can opened, and the stone fell with a soft thud. the lid closed. back to my seat. i sat.
and thought. i felt.. unnatural. something was missing. once again i took off my glasses and gave them a wipe. i put them on again, and seemingly they were much clearer. wait a second.. what was that?
"victor! comon man!"
they stood at the door, calling for me. seems like i'm supposed to go do something with them. "i'm coming! just give me two minutes." i opened the drawer again.
no familiar green light. it was so unnatural. but it was so clearly.. a drawer. the walls of the drawer were distinctly separate by the dark edges from the drawer itself. there wasn't much more there, but the wood had a vertical pattern. things would be clearer from now on.
i got up and left.
(victor jr.)
(Do you know how frustrating it is to look for something you’ve lost? Like your keys in the morning, or a belt that you’re missing. Maybe it’s your sunglasses or wallet...That kind of frustrating. Got that feeling in your head? Imagine it ten times worse, because you’re not quite sure what you’re looking for, and you know you can’t go on without it. That’s what I’m feeling right now.)
you find your glasses. you put them on. what can you see? seems clear, but you look to the right, and it's blurry. you look up a bit, and there's a thick fuzzy line in your field of vision. you look up a bit more, and you see the frame, and beyond that it's unchartered terrirtory. it's not clear at all."
i found the glasses cloth, and took off my glasses. gave em a wipe here, and a wipe there, and i put them back on. clear again. some fuzzy streaks, but that can't be helped. my desk is a mess. papers here, books there. i opened my drawer, and a clear green light glowed into sight. i took out the green stone, and closed the drawer. it was pretty. the stone was crowned with a golden frame, and a majestic light shone from the deep inside. it stung my heart to look at it, because it was so close to me, and because of the thought of what i was about to do to it.
i looked into the stone. i remembered.. happiness, confidence, love. scenes of past memories flashed before me, deep inside the green light. it still stung my heart to look at it. the light soon began to fade, as those wonderful feelings began to fade in me as well. perhaps it just wasn't right. perhaps i was all wrong about it. where could i possibly be going with this?
i grasped the stone hard, and the light left. into the kitchen, the garbage can opened, and the stone fell with a soft thud. the lid closed. back to my seat. i sat.
and thought. i felt.. unnatural. something was missing. once again i took off my glasses and gave them a wipe. i put them on again, and seemingly they were much clearer. wait a second.. what was that?
"victor! comon man!"
they stood at the door, calling for me. seems like i'm supposed to go do something with them. "i'm coming! just give me two minutes." i opened the drawer again.
no familiar green light. it was so unnatural. but it was so clearly.. a drawer. the walls of the drawer were distinctly separate by the dark edges from the drawer itself. there wasn't much more there, but the wood had a vertical pattern. things would be clearer from now on.
i got up and left.
(victor jr.)
Thursday, February 23, 2006
midterm limbo
ahh.. the midterm limbo.
from february 6 to 10, mechanical engineers have their midterm week with no classes. becuz mechatronics are under our department as well, this resulted in 4 of the 5 students in our house to be out of classes and in study mode. everyone knows what study mode is like. sitting in front of the books.. forever. of course, we were not so easily focused, and distracted ourselves easily. the first exam on monday went okay, but it started going downhill from there. our focus level.
the days soon become mixed with awkward periods of sleep, smash brothers, walking around the house, guitar, and.. oh yea, studying. thankfully i was more confident after the 2nd exam, and it went okay for me. but just the TASTE of that week totally threw off living.
the week after, i had my psych midterm on tuesday, so i still had to "study" for it. i didn't really study for it, cuz i just didn't care about it, but i thought i knew enough to get through it, which i guess i did (not as well as i thought). lifesong, an annual outreach event hosted by uwccf was also coming up, and for some peculiar reason i volunteered to write the script for the drama. after i was "in commission" to work, after exams, i got started on it. unfortunately there were many disagreements with how the script should be like, and many versions had to be written, as well as many different changes. i ended up not going to school for many days of that week.
the week after was reading week for the school. except for math and engineering students, of course. while everyone was out there having fun, i still had class. well.. not really. we still worked on the script, and i continued to miss class. tuesday of that week was an IRS day or something like that, where grads go around parading into our classes acting like idiots about how they graduated and got their engineering ring. it would have been a nice sight to see, but i'd prefer to sleep in after sleeping at 4am for consecutive nights. but in any case.. classes were not gone to.
for 3 weeks, i haven't been a full student. the feeling of being in the house almost constantly, sitting in front of a computer screen working on the same thing for hours upon hours. what happens when u do the same thing over and over again. ur mind becomes rigid. stuck in a box. my mind wouldn't think of anything else but the script, sleep, and not wanting to do the script (or anything else, for that matter).
now today was the beginning of reading week for us. i sit and think what's happened for these past three weeks. ironically, i realized that i had no drive during these weeks. what is a christian to do at times like these? what is any normal person supposed to do? a person can't live in a box with just one or two things on their mind.
soooo what to do now? shane and shane's song "God did", though it has nothing to do with what i talk about.. my favourite line of the song..
"are you ready to live?"
victro
from february 6 to 10, mechanical engineers have their midterm week with no classes. becuz mechatronics are under our department as well, this resulted in 4 of the 5 students in our house to be out of classes and in study mode. everyone knows what study mode is like. sitting in front of the books.. forever. of course, we were not so easily focused, and distracted ourselves easily. the first exam on monday went okay, but it started going downhill from there. our focus level.
the days soon become mixed with awkward periods of sleep, smash brothers, walking around the house, guitar, and.. oh yea, studying. thankfully i was more confident after the 2nd exam, and it went okay for me. but just the TASTE of that week totally threw off living.
the week after, i had my psych midterm on tuesday, so i still had to "study" for it. i didn't really study for it, cuz i just didn't care about it, but i thought i knew enough to get through it, which i guess i did (not as well as i thought). lifesong, an annual outreach event hosted by uwccf was also coming up, and for some peculiar reason i volunteered to write the script for the drama. after i was "in commission" to work, after exams, i got started on it. unfortunately there were many disagreements with how the script should be like, and many versions had to be written, as well as many different changes. i ended up not going to school for many days of that week.
the week after was reading week for the school. except for math and engineering students, of course. while everyone was out there having fun, i still had class. well.. not really. we still worked on the script, and i continued to miss class. tuesday of that week was an IRS day or something like that, where grads go around parading into our classes acting like idiots about how they graduated and got their engineering ring. it would have been a nice sight to see, but i'd prefer to sleep in after sleeping at 4am for consecutive nights. but in any case.. classes were not gone to.
for 3 weeks, i haven't been a full student. the feeling of being in the house almost constantly, sitting in front of a computer screen working on the same thing for hours upon hours. what happens when u do the same thing over and over again. ur mind becomes rigid. stuck in a box. my mind wouldn't think of anything else but the script, sleep, and not wanting to do the script (or anything else, for that matter).
now today was the beginning of reading week for us. i sit and think what's happened for these past three weeks. ironically, i realized that i had no drive during these weeks. what is a christian to do at times like these? what is any normal person supposed to do? a person can't live in a box with just one or two things on their mind.
soooo what to do now? shane and shane's song "God did", though it has nothing to do with what i talk about.. my favourite line of the song..
"are you ready to live?"
victro
Monday, January 30, 2006
reflections of a 20 year old
reflections of a 20 year old. indeed, this marks a significant time period in life.. so it appears. what makes this january 29 different from any other january 29?
1. january 29 2006 is chinese new year. to the chinese, this is a time of family, a time of celebration for the coming new year, and a time of giving and sharing. personally i find the animals stuff and the singing weird songs and the fancy chinese phrases and bit tiresome, repetitive, and a bit heathen. there's always time for giving and sharing, and surely i do not mind receiving red envelops stuffed with cash. but surely still, such a time should not have constant tension and unfamiliarity in the family.
2. for the very first time, age dictates that i am to be an adult. therefore, it is only right to act like an adult, and deal with my own issues as an adult. though i understand that the constant struggles of life is neverending, teenager or adult, i would guess that there certainly should be some expected change. on this january 29, i found that all the more difficult to handle. it may have been the consistent reminders of failure in many facets, spiritual and unspiritual. or the times that the things close to heart were abruptly taken away in pain. or even just the duty to be a responsible person, with a series of responsibilities. 20 is a landmark for maturity, and maturity demands me to deal with things right.
3. the value of love and friendship stands out so much more to me. it was a clear comparison. my first birthday in university, i spent the weekend with very different people, and we ended up doing many different things together. i saw different forms of love in their actions and their words. i appreciated everyone that remembered my birthday, sometimes to the point that i didn't know what to say back, and some did more than that. i'm a believer that we should treat our friends like it's their birthday every day.. except that the birthday gives us a reason to do something extra fun for the person you love. thank you everyone that i encountered that weekend.. you've reminded me how much more that i should love you as a friend and brother in Christ. yup.. yes you.
4. weaknesses are sometimes best left hidden from the cheeky ones. letters should always come with a 50 cent canadian stamp if it is a local letter, and it should also be stamped by the post office to show that it has been mailed. as well, normal people do not make their signatures indecipherable, nor do they spray tommy girl all over it. if the letter contains these traits, and includes lots of mushy writing, be suspicious. be very suspicious. i at least got the suspicious part down.
5. though i am in a new "phase" of life, i'm still stuck in the same phase of life as a student. i'm 20, but school still sucks so hard. the best birthday present for me is a good mark for my exams. (not to say that i didn't like the ones i received. thank you!)
20 years old indeed. that's a lot to think about for a kid like me. i bid all the 19 year olds good luck, all the 20+ year olds good day, and all the 18- good grief charlie brown, cuz u've got a long way to go!
sincerely yours,
victro
1. january 29 2006 is chinese new year. to the chinese, this is a time of family, a time of celebration for the coming new year, and a time of giving and sharing. personally i find the animals stuff and the singing weird songs and the fancy chinese phrases and bit tiresome, repetitive, and a bit heathen. there's always time for giving and sharing, and surely i do not mind receiving red envelops stuffed with cash. but surely still, such a time should not have constant tension and unfamiliarity in the family.
2. for the very first time, age dictates that i am to be an adult. therefore, it is only right to act like an adult, and deal with my own issues as an adult. though i understand that the constant struggles of life is neverending, teenager or adult, i would guess that there certainly should be some expected change. on this january 29, i found that all the more difficult to handle. it may have been the consistent reminders of failure in many facets, spiritual and unspiritual. or the times that the things close to heart were abruptly taken away in pain. or even just the duty to be a responsible person, with a series of responsibilities. 20 is a landmark for maturity, and maturity demands me to deal with things right.
3. the value of love and friendship stands out so much more to me. it was a clear comparison. my first birthday in university, i spent the weekend with very different people, and we ended up doing many different things together. i saw different forms of love in their actions and their words. i appreciated everyone that remembered my birthday, sometimes to the point that i didn't know what to say back, and some did more than that. i'm a believer that we should treat our friends like it's their birthday every day.. except that the birthday gives us a reason to do something extra fun for the person you love. thank you everyone that i encountered that weekend.. you've reminded me how much more that i should love you as a friend and brother in Christ. yup.. yes you.
4. weaknesses are sometimes best left hidden from the cheeky ones. letters should always come with a 50 cent canadian stamp if it is a local letter, and it should also be stamped by the post office to show that it has been mailed. as well, normal people do not make their signatures indecipherable, nor do they spray tommy girl all over it. if the letter contains these traits, and includes lots of mushy writing, be suspicious. be very suspicious. i at least got the suspicious part down.
5. though i am in a new "phase" of life, i'm still stuck in the same phase of life as a student. i'm 20, but school still sucks so hard. the best birthday present for me is a good mark for my exams. (not to say that i didn't like the ones i received. thank you!)
20 years old indeed. that's a lot to think about for a kid like me. i bid all the 19 year olds good luck, all the 20+ year olds good day, and all the 18- good grief charlie brown, cuz u've got a long way to go!
sincerely yours,
victro
Sunday, January 15, 2006
mcdougall stories
it's only been two weeks at 94 mcdougall, and derek yau, bily xiao, jon lo and jon chan as well as myself have had some crazy times.
today.. me and derek made the BEAST. it was so BEAST that we couldn't contain it. u don't understand.. it was beast. take a look at this.
not to mention the little mishap with the fried bananas in the company of vanessa. we'll keep that one quiet. haha.
u'd think engineers would be hardcoring the work all day. 30 hour weeks for the 5 of us. early mornings, late nights. but our gamecube would definitely disagree. smash bros melee.. how many hours did we spend on that.. ha-cha! then we go downstairs, the same place where we play, pullin out the textbooks and we hardcore it. beast.
the new christmas lights add a festive feel to the house. warm. cozy. comfortable. the world of an engineer is intense, sometimes hopeless, sometimes overwhelming. but u would walk up those stairs, and feel a sense of hope, and a sense of family, and even a small tinge of love.
thank you all for coming to our mcdougall housewarming party. we had lots of fun, lots of food, and lots of good times.
i love my massive room, becuz i love how inviting it is. though it looks like an office, and the entrance of into the room already makes one feel obliged to act professional, courteous to the boss (me), from my angle, looking out the door, it feels refreshing. another new face coming in. another companion to share in the struggle of university.
the microfibre cloth has brought us through many trials of dirt and grime, and still goes on to. may u keep us in bacteria-free living.
5 computers, 5 guitars, tons of juggling balls, 3 chess sets, networked laser printer hooked up to a 40gb LANed server, CUT CAPO, and four hearts desiring to see Jesus.
Christ, be the center of our lives.. be the place we fix our eyes.
We lift our eyes to heaven.. we wrap our lives around your life.
may the next 3 months be blessed.
victro
today.. me and derek made the BEAST. it was so BEAST that we couldn't contain it. u don't understand.. it was beast. take a look at this.
not to mention the little mishap with the fried bananas in the company of vanessa. we'll keep that one quiet. haha.
u'd think engineers would be hardcoring the work all day. 30 hour weeks for the 5 of us. early mornings, late nights. but our gamecube would definitely disagree. smash bros melee.. how many hours did we spend on that.. ha-cha! then we go downstairs, the same place where we play, pullin out the textbooks and we hardcore it. beast.
the new christmas lights add a festive feel to the house. warm. cozy. comfortable. the world of an engineer is intense, sometimes hopeless, sometimes overwhelming. but u would walk up those stairs, and feel a sense of hope, and a sense of family, and even a small tinge of love.
thank you all for coming to our mcdougall housewarming party. we had lots of fun, lots of food, and lots of good times.
i love my massive room, becuz i love how inviting it is. though it looks like an office, and the entrance of into the room already makes one feel obliged to act professional, courteous to the boss (me), from my angle, looking out the door, it feels refreshing. another new face coming in. another companion to share in the struggle of university.
the microfibre cloth has brought us through many trials of dirt and grime, and still goes on to. may u keep us in bacteria-free living.
5 computers, 5 guitars, tons of juggling balls, 3 chess sets, networked laser printer hooked up to a 40gb LANed server, CUT CAPO, and four hearts desiring to see Jesus.
Christ, be the center of our lives.. be the place we fix our eyes.
We lift our eyes to heaven.. we wrap our lives around your life.
may the next 3 months be blessed.
victro
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