being your own enemy

being your own enemy.

this was the topic of the sermon this morning at church. and for once, the message actually went to my mind.

it was a clear explanation as to why life was going the way it was. sometimes i wonder if there was some way to.. look at yourself from the outside, as if you were another person, and to do that right. if that was possible, life would be in a totally different perspective.

you would begin to see your own habits. what was once invisible becomes completely clear. maybe your own way of walking to the store, eating your food, or something more than that. but it becomes very clear to you.

you would begin to see how you truly interact with people. what was once invisible becomes completely clear. your mannerisms. your tone of voice. how you say something actually comes out as something totally different. maybe you think about this, and you realize how big of a dork you were. or how much of an encourager you could be. but all this, you will begin to see.

of course, you would begin to see how you make decisions in your life. what was once invisible becomes completely clear. what you choose to do first, and what you choose to do next, and why. you would see what your true motives really are, not just what you thought they were. you learn what really is important to you, and not just what you thought was important. all this, you would see when you knew how to look.

there are certainly more things that we could see if we could look at ourselves from the outside. certainly, i believe that God sees us this way very clearly. He not only knows what we see, but He knows what is real. it is unfortunate that we are not capable of seeing life in this light, because it distorts reality. this is how you become your own enemy.

the enemy is discreet. he moves into where you are weak, and he plants his little tent. he has little interruption there, as he begins to plan his next move. you notice him, but he has meant you no harm. so you leave him, and walk away, while he watches you leave, and begins to set up for his ultimate attack. his territory grows. still you do not heed to the warnings of your mind, but soon he will take over. and he does take over. one day you return to see him, but the entire area had been taken over. he has launched his attack, and amalgamated himself to you. you become him.

this is what i notice today. i noticed that i have forgotten what is most important, and i have been captured in my own pride and strength. i was deluded, and i believe that i still am. but i pray for no more of this. i pray for change. i pray for a new character. i pray for a heart of love and humility. for a victor that works with all he can, alongside of his saviour. for a victor that relies on the strength of Christ, the convicting energy of the Spirit, and the wisdom of the Word. and for a victor that fights like a soldier, never to give up, but to always stand again when he his down. and to stand up all the more gloriously, in the hand of his Father.

this is what i pray. what about you today? have you become your own enemy? are you blinding yourself from things that you should be seeing? maybe you are. if you think so, maybe you could try a simple exercise. think of some different people that you interact with. how are your interactions with "you"? what does "you" act like? is there any possibility that "you" has offended you? why do you think that "you" would say and act a particular way, and based on what? try this with different people, with different incidents. then also try it with the Word of God. what does the Word of God say about how you live?

that is it. do not become your own enemy. it is hard to get out.

victor