invisible

every day and night. you go to work and you turn it on. you come back home, and the first thing you do is turn it on.

every moment i face the screen is another moment out of this world. like i opened the doors to the wardrobe and walked through, pushed aside those fur coats, hairs brushing against my cheek, until i suddenly feel the brisk cold of winter, except there isn't really that brisk cold of winter.

unhindered interactions with your closest friends, boundaries of geographic distance like nothing. and you'd all stay up so late for this, hours into the late night, even up till the morning. painful, yet satisfying.

you step in and explore this world, starting with small baby steps, tip toeing, just scratching the surface of it all. and the longer you stand in your place, the more confident you become, and you take an extra step more. you go where you've never gone before, your eyes widen, stretch, and your heart pumps blood in excitement to see what you would never see. it's a beauty, isn't it?

at first, it was dipping your feet into the cold pond. it starts off chilly, the cold riding up your leg and shivers your body. and then, long time after, it no longer is a foot in and a leg out, so easy.



i'm already lost in my own nature metaphors, lost in what i'm telling you, because it is so far from the truth. i can't distinguish one from the other, whether i am truly in one world or another. no, it's no longer so. i look inside a land of infinity, now seeing things i would never imagine to see, would not even tear myself away from. but really what i am looking at, looking into, is a screen, looking right back at me, straight at me, only at me. he looks at me for so long, that will he not just see through to my soul? would he not look deep into my eyes, so blinded by himself, that he would see everything that he needs to do to complete the illusion?

the invisible closes around me and it becomes life. unhindered interactions? no boundaries? no, there are. in the end, you forget where you are, you lose your sense of direction. now you pick which victor you are, but there's only one choice now. the one that doesn't see heart, doesn't see emotion, doesn't see reaction. just words. words, subtext, metaphors, clever wit, implications, and whatever else you can see and read with just WORDS.

what to do now.