the problem of sleep

sleep is something that many people in my generation struggle with finding the right balance with. people stay up late to do work and study. people stay up late to party and have fun. people stay up late to talk about important stuff or to play settlers (!). whether they are legitimate or illegitimate reasons to imbalance a regular sleep routine is up for interpretation and not to be discussed here.

what is to be discussed here is why i am different from you. ever since i was a small little boy (those glorious days of freedom, innocence, and vast intelligence), i always slept a lot. my family would always call me the "lan fun ju", or "the sleepyhead" is a moderate translation. before i went to church or math/chinese school, i would always sleep in and be the last one to get out of bed in the entire family. but even if i were to be the last to get up, it was usually only by 30 minutes to an hour. i suppose my family gets tired of waiting for me and just wake me up to get the day started.

i remember there were days where i did get up on saturday morning to watch cartoons.. but i hardly remember how those days even happened, but it did happen for a few years. soon enough, church and math and chinese school came along, so i would have a reason to wake up early. this also occurred for a few years.. until i discovered instant messaging. ICQ was the big thing when i was in grade 7, and that was when i started to stay up past 11.. or 12. grade 7 was effective the start of the destruction of my sleep schedule, and all because of instant messaging. i sure got to talk a lot more with friends and got to know people a lot more.

when high school came, i tasted 430am. i tasted 530am. sometimes it was for school work, but sometimes it was for talking (there was this girl i kinda liked.. hehe), and other times it was just hanging out with the guys. but i still did not have too much difficulty getting up the next day for school. i had SOME difficulty obviously, but it wasn't so bad.. except for the one time that i slept in for my calculus exam and showed up some 30-45 minutes late.

by the time university came around.. staying up till 2 was regular practice, and there were plenty of new people to start talking to again. there were quite some late nights just from conversations or other fun activities. it's university. i also experienced my first full all nighter due to academics in first year. when second year came around, certain events happened which led to decreased motivation to go to school, and i began to skip classes. i must say that this was when my inborn sleepyhead traits since i was a kid began to emerge. not that it wasn't there when i was growing up, but it was clear here. in third year i had easily built the reputation of regularly skipping class, and now that i am in my final year, being in class is practically a bonus. let me say that 75% of the class skipping has to do with the problem of sleep. the other 25% is a mix between using the time to do work, finding the class unnecessary and the general lack of motivation to be in class (that's not a good reason, kids).

last night i slept somewhere between 1am and 2am, and i woke up the next morning at 2pm when herman knocked on my door, even after being woken up by derek at 10am. i wonder if i could have kept sleeping if herman didn't call. granted that last friday i slept at 3am and woke at 6am, and the saturday's sleep did not give me complete rest. but it is clear here. i have the tendency to sleep until my body cannot sleep anymore. until it rejects the sleep, like a cup that is too full of a liquid that it is overflowing.

so here is the problem of sleep. there are two perspectives of sleep that i know. one that sleep is important to our bodies, and that we should not deprive our bodies of the sleep that it needs. sleep is needed so that the body and mind can rest and repair itself. sleep is the body's medicine to almost anything. the other perspective is clear in the bible. proverbs 6:9-11 says "how long will you lie there, you sluggard? when will you get up from your sleep? a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man." an unnamed person at my church said it succinctly: "sleeping in is for pansies." i realize that sleeping in is "a waste of time" and a lot of things can be done in the time that is slept away.

what then can be done of it? what to think of it? let me tell you, i REALLY cannot get up. when i am forcibly woken up when i am tired or in the middle of a sleep cycle, i CANNOT function, CANNOT interact, and WILL NOT treat a person like a person. this was evident on the day bily forced me up to go to waterloo mennonite brethren one sunday, and i was absolutely exhausted. i did not talk to anyone, and hated existence. at the first opportunity that i could, i jumped on a sofa at slc and napped for 3 full hours, leaving a very astonished phil chan wondering how that is possible. i did not even stay up super late the night before.

come midterm time now, where sleep is a valuable commodity, it makes me wonder what to do. nowadays, that the quality of my work and the retention of course material is not my main concern, but that i am actually able to wake up for my exam or my presentation. is sleep so important for my body, where nowadays i feel no physical burden pulling me down until the late hours of night? or am i truly the pansy of all pansies?

it is 2am now. i better go sleep.