say whatever youth related cliche you want, but when one can start recalling a memory with the phrase "10 years ago.." where the memory is when you are an adult, then you have surpassed the cliches. you are no longer young at heart. no matter what life stage you are, you are a full fledged adult living an adult life. i came to this realization a few years earlier but now that i have 28, "10 years ago" was 18, considered the official age of adulthood. perhaps last year i psyched myself out with some panic about my life direction, but this year there is no turning back.
don't get me wrong though. when i say that i am old, it is almost always not in a negative light. i do have a level of anxiety regarding life direction just like anyone else would. i recognize that i have taken a step back in the general perceived pace of both career path and with relationships compared to the many of my peers, and with that are their associated challenges. but being older has also been a celebration of collected experiences that can be rummaged through like a case of miscellaneous trophies, perhaps taken out to admire and reflect upon at the right moment. younger folk have empty cases.
for me, it's also been a relief not to have to go through certain firsts again. at least now they will be seconds or thirds. my signature cynicism is still accepting applicants, but current members need not reapply. for a slower admission, i would have a bit of relief.
one of the most valuable parts of age is.. backing. my life experience gives me backing for the future.
in honour of twenty eight years, this is written based on the numerology as written in the title. and so, here are fourteen dualities for you to think about. and for me to decide.
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introversion - in the quiet. in the stillness. watch, think, observe, learn.
extroversion - a life of the party, while secretly drawing in outsiders to create life of their own.
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tragedy - welcomes pain because adapted to pain, absorb pain. romanticizing sacrifice.
comedy - everything is funny. let's make everyone's day!
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compassion - i don't shy away from pain but i want to take it away from everyone else.
narcissism - my way or the highway. can't see you can't hear you.
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visionary - inspire machine, seek for me a new song, a new idea. paint for me a palette of new futures.
execution - right now, you can't stop me from doing anything else but this. damn right i'm good at it.
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diligence - goal setting, focus, brute force, silence until completion.
apathy - freecell.
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bitterness - it's half empty because.
acceptance - there isn't any way you can come to me that i will not accept.
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creation - give every opportunity to fail 100 times just for the 1 masterpiece.
consumption - i'm here thirsting for analysis, for thinking, for knowledge, for news, for sports news, for entertainment news, for movies, for shows. for just sitting here, consuming.
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1 comment:
I'm usually not one to care about age, but recently have also been reflecting on what it means to say "10 yrs ago" and realize it's been that long since entering univ.
Great post- great thoughts on life experience and actually understand self and dualities, always find reading your posts a refreshing diff perspective on prose and writing.
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