i spent minutes thinking of an appropriate name for this posting...

... and failed.

i haven't touched this since july 29.. a month less a week. many things have happened since that day. i would count them out one by one, but i would easily lose track.

the term ended. they said that 1b was one of the toughest terms on mech eng. i admit that term wasn't easy at all, but if i had worked harder than i did i would have gotten the results i wanted. i panicked, but my marks came through.. though a 10% decrease in my average compared to last term.

talk about roller coastering. the way things go up and down in a never-ending cycle. one moment you would think that you have gotten to the top, and the next you are plummetting to the bottom. and by the time you begin to get comfortable with the bottom, the top is starting to approach. and it repeats so fast you can't tell what is what.

i've been scared.

growing up is something that we cannot stop, but something that must happen. think about what you have to give up, and what has to be taken on. "big boy now, working man with a job," they say. man of the house. time to make your own decisions. can you take it?

it's deterioration at its best. deterioration at its ultimate best. the great one that i've always seen and envisioned, falling to pieces. so many distractions, so many other things to do, making you slip away, slowly but surely. there were so many things that you used to be able to do, so powerful. but now, what is left?

the differences in people. the wonderful thing about people is that they are never the same. but the challenge also is that you can't always do the same things with different people. and people have the freedom of change. it is a fresh surprise as to what someone could come up with. sometimes something that you are totally unprepared for, leaving you speechless, not knowing what to do.

i am running out of thinking.. slipping away. the big picture is near, but still out of reach. the message is starting to become clear, what God has been doing, and what i have missed out on. i struggle, but do not fight.

what do you see?

pending

currently on final exams. i have 6, and they start this coming week.

august 2, 3, 5, 8, 10, 12.

i think those will keep me quite occupied. these exams will be highly difficult, as there is a possibility that i could fail any of them.

also working on readjusting lifestyle again.

maybe will post something more meaningful after exams.

victor

wah...

wah.. things aren't good.
but i won't say why.

wha'happened?!

for those that wondered if victor is still alive.. he actually is!

toronto must be missing him. (or forgetting him). if you are missing him, he appreciates you very much. well.. he appreciates you very much, but you get bonus points for missing him.

if you're forgetting him, that is normal, because victor can be quite a forgettable person.

victor sent me to inform everyone that he has been busy with school work. he has about 2 weeks of school that he has to catch up on after midterms. he says that he failed 2 of his 6 midterms, but he is still adamant on fixing those up and doing better during finals.

victor tells me to say that it would be much appreciated if you left him a message or an email or a phone call even. if he had the time, he would do the same to you.

if you would like to contact him, please tell me such that i could deliver the message to him. thank you everybody.

the posting where i don't know what to write

this is the posting where i don't know what to write.

i haven't posted anything for over 3 weeks now i think?
a lot of things could happen in 3 weeks.

midterms was a very aggghgaahhchoochoozzzzzssshhhbbaaccchh-like experience. they start off fairly good with calculus, but they started going downhill from there.

it was an academically painful experience.
but it wasn't the most painful part of the time.

critical time for changing myself. what is most important?
please be clear, and tell me what to do.
what should i doo?