sorry i haven't been posting.
about engineering.. i think that this blog post has been long overdue since.. even my high school days (before the blog was created).. and has been more thought of after bily's recent blog post about engineering.
for those who don't know me very well.. most of you probably think that i am a big nerd, and am in love with numbers and equations and how stuff work and technical things like that. so yea.. that's only partly true. yes i do like math a lot, and the sciences aren't so bad either. but i do not know if i can spend the rest of my life with a future seeminly so.. mundane. yes i do believe also that in reality, true life is more about people. belief, faith, philosophy, society, people, thinking and interacting. so yes.. arts courses (yea yea u win, arts ppl).
not to say that there isn't a particular beauty in engineering. i do think that engineering is a very complete branch of study, and the concepts learned can be used anywhere, if u know how. math is a language that i am fairly familiar with (at least up to the level i'm at right now, for the most part). so i mean.. it's not like i totally can't do it either.
though if i base what engineering on my work terms.. then definitely it is not what i want to do with the rest of my life. i suppose it is obvious that coop jobs aren't wonderful.. and i'm sure most of u have heard me talk about it one time or another. but even if i look at the engineers that i work with.. is THAT really what i want to do for the rest of my life? what about my last work term? is THAT what i really want to do for the rest of my life? of course.. i can't base this all on just two measly work terms. but still, i feel that they have spoken out clearly as to what they have to offer.
therefore.. it's up in the air. i said to myself.. i decided on engineering, and switching faculties would backing out on an important choice. but.. could i have made the wrong choice? i have no clue.. haha.. seems neither right nor wrong.
we all joke that the engineers are just gonna end up being pastors anyway. haha. tyndale is just waiting for us.. haha.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Thursday, October 27, 2005
part 4!!!
so i got up.
my head throbbed. blood trickled slowly down my forehead. i brought my hand to my head and touched it nervously, anticipating the pain. it didn't hurt.
oh it's just sweat.
i realized i was sitting on the hard ground, surrounded by forest. most of the trees were large-leafed with tall, thin trunks, but they grew so close together that it made it look larger than it really was. there was no sign of the boy. i tried to find any motion in the trees, thinking maybe he could have gone that way.
oh look there's a path in that corner. there was no choice but to follow the path, or risk getting lost in.. a place i don't even know what. i got up, feeling better already, and followed the path. it was relatively clear, but the trees on the side cascaded down from the top, low enough to touch my head. i ran through. there didn't seem to be an end to the path, and i saw no light at the far end.
i reached an area where there were no trees, and the sky could be seen above. the sky wasn't blue, but a sombre dark purple. the sun was a dim orange shade, hanging low in the purple. it gave me a chilling feeling, so i carried on. the path continued, and the trees hid the sky again. still no end to the path?
i started to run, dodging the leaves whenever it got into my face. i thought i saw some light now, so i squinted to look. There was a faint light. Phew! i carried on to run through to the end of this "forest". As i approached close to the end, maybe about 30 metres away, i saw what was making this light.
skyscrapers. buildings, buildings, buildings. they stood tall, maybe 50, 60, 100 floors, i would never know. i finally exited the forest, and i noticed that there was an expanse that separated the foresty area and "civilization". there were roads too, and people, hustling and bustling. wait are they people? the "cars" (moving things i've never seen before) zipped here and there along the roads.
no one seemed to notice me, so i tried to look for the boy, while still being amazed as to what in the world (if it was in this world) this all was.
suddenly i felt my arms being lurched back back behind. it hurt me, but not greatly, so i didn't scream. i couldn't turn around, but i saw two men dressed in black hold onto me. "you're coming with us. He is expecting you." one said in a low voice.
expecting me?
(uh oh.. looks like our hero is in trouble.. who can possibly expect him in this world where he's never been? what of the little boy?)
my head throbbed. blood trickled slowly down my forehead. i brought my hand to my head and touched it nervously, anticipating the pain. it didn't hurt.
oh it's just sweat.
i realized i was sitting on the hard ground, surrounded by forest. most of the trees were large-leafed with tall, thin trunks, but they grew so close together that it made it look larger than it really was. there was no sign of the boy. i tried to find any motion in the trees, thinking maybe he could have gone that way.
oh look there's a path in that corner. there was no choice but to follow the path, or risk getting lost in.. a place i don't even know what. i got up, feeling better already, and followed the path. it was relatively clear, but the trees on the side cascaded down from the top, low enough to touch my head. i ran through. there didn't seem to be an end to the path, and i saw no light at the far end.
i reached an area where there were no trees, and the sky could be seen above. the sky wasn't blue, but a sombre dark purple. the sun was a dim orange shade, hanging low in the purple. it gave me a chilling feeling, so i carried on. the path continued, and the trees hid the sky again. still no end to the path?
i started to run, dodging the leaves whenever it got into my face. i thought i saw some light now, so i squinted to look. There was a faint light. Phew! i carried on to run through to the end of this "forest". As i approached close to the end, maybe about 30 metres away, i saw what was making this light.
skyscrapers. buildings, buildings, buildings. they stood tall, maybe 50, 60, 100 floors, i would never know. i finally exited the forest, and i noticed that there was an expanse that separated the foresty area and "civilization". there were roads too, and people, hustling and bustling. wait are they people? the "cars" (moving things i've never seen before) zipped here and there along the roads.
no one seemed to notice me, so i tried to look for the boy, while still being amazed as to what in the world (if it was in this world) this all was.
suddenly i felt my arms being lurched back back behind. it hurt me, but not greatly, so i didn't scream. i couldn't turn around, but i saw two men dressed in black hold onto me. "you're coming with us. He is expecting you." one said in a low voice.
expecting me?
(uh oh.. looks like our hero is in trouble.. who can possibly expect him in this world where he's never been? what of the little boy?)
the struggles of musical worship
recently i've joined the scbc sunday service worship, and it is definitely a good experience so far. though i've been asked a few times whether i didn't do this earlier, i do have my reasons.
one of my main concerns was whether my "worship" was really worshipping God. ppl can easily get caught up in how their playing sounds, or how their singing sounds (especially the singing for me). this has been a major struggle for me.. it could be becuz i've been trained in music for almost all my life, or it could be that i just like to sound good, my focus during worship may often divert to myself rather than my God, and the words that i am singing.
one question though.. becuz playing guitar or piano or even singing involves some skill, sometimes u'd really havta concentrate to make sure ur doing everything properly! then ur focus, going into ur instrument playing or whatever, would be justified, no? so where does that leave room for.. focus on God? or do we say.. u gotta do both at the same; multitask? cuz for those of u that have led worship before, u probably know that multitasking isn't easy.. especially if u gotta play guitar, sing and lead at the same time (decided not to play guitar this time). sooo what do u think ppl?
victro
one of my main concerns was whether my "worship" was really worshipping God. ppl can easily get caught up in how their playing sounds, or how their singing sounds (especially the singing for me). this has been a major struggle for me.. it could be becuz i've been trained in music for almost all my life, or it could be that i just like to sound good, my focus during worship may often divert to myself rather than my God, and the words that i am singing.
one question though.. becuz playing guitar or piano or even singing involves some skill, sometimes u'd really havta concentrate to make sure ur doing everything properly! then ur focus, going into ur instrument playing or whatever, would be justified, no? so where does that leave room for.. focus on God? or do we say.. u gotta do both at the same; multitask? cuz for those of u that have led worship before, u probably know that multitasking isn't easy.. especially if u gotta play guitar, sing and lead at the same time (decided not to play guitar this time). sooo what do u think ppl?
victro
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
i spent minutes thinking of an appropriate name for this posting...
... and failed.
i haven't touched this since july 29.. a month less a week. many things have happened since that day. i would count them out one by one, but i would easily lose track.
the term ended. they said that 1b was one of the toughest terms on mech eng. i admit that term wasn't easy at all, but if i had worked harder than i did i would have gotten the results i wanted. i panicked, but my marks came through.. though a 10% decrease in my average compared to last term.
talk about roller coastering. the way things go up and down in a never-ending cycle. one moment you would think that you have gotten to the top, and the next you are plummetting to the bottom. and by the time you begin to get comfortable with the bottom, the top is starting to approach. and it repeats so fast you can't tell what is what.
i've been scared.
growing up is something that we cannot stop, but something that must happen. think about what you have to give up, and what has to be taken on. "big boy now, working man with a job," they say. man of the house. time to make your own decisions. can you take it?
it's deterioration at its best. deterioration at its ultimate best. the great one that i've always seen and envisioned, falling to pieces. so many distractions, so many other things to do, making you slip away, slowly but surely. there were so many things that you used to be able to do, so powerful. but now, what is left?
the differences in people. the wonderful thing about people is that they are never the same. but the challenge also is that you can't always do the same things with different people. and people have the freedom of change. it is a fresh surprise as to what someone could come up with. sometimes something that you are totally unprepared for, leaving you speechless, not knowing what to do.
i am running out of thinking.. slipping away. the big picture is near, but still out of reach. the message is starting to become clear, what God has been doing, and what i have missed out on. i struggle, but do not fight.
what do you see?
i haven't touched this since july 29.. a month less a week. many things have happened since that day. i would count them out one by one, but i would easily lose track.
the term ended. they said that 1b was one of the toughest terms on mech eng. i admit that term wasn't easy at all, but if i had worked harder than i did i would have gotten the results i wanted. i panicked, but my marks came through.. though a 10% decrease in my average compared to last term.
talk about roller coastering. the way things go up and down in a never-ending cycle. one moment you would think that you have gotten to the top, and the next you are plummetting to the bottom. and by the time you begin to get comfortable with the bottom, the top is starting to approach. and it repeats so fast you can't tell what is what.
i've been scared.
growing up is something that we cannot stop, but something that must happen. think about what you have to give up, and what has to be taken on. "big boy now, working man with a job," they say. man of the house. time to make your own decisions. can you take it?
it's deterioration at its best. deterioration at its ultimate best. the great one that i've always seen and envisioned, falling to pieces. so many distractions, so many other things to do, making you slip away, slowly but surely. there were so many things that you used to be able to do, so powerful. but now, what is left?
the differences in people. the wonderful thing about people is that they are never the same. but the challenge also is that you can't always do the same things with different people. and people have the freedom of change. it is a fresh surprise as to what someone could come up with. sometimes something that you are totally unprepared for, leaving you speechless, not knowing what to do.
i am running out of thinking.. slipping away. the big picture is near, but still out of reach. the message is starting to become clear, what God has been doing, and what i have missed out on. i struggle, but do not fight.
what do you see?
Friday, July 29, 2005
pending
currently on final exams. i have 6, and they start this coming week.
august 2, 3, 5, 8, 10, 12.
i think those will keep me quite occupied. these exams will be highly difficult, as there is a possibility that i could fail any of them.
also working on readjusting lifestyle again.
maybe will post something more meaningful after exams.
victor
august 2, 3, 5, 8, 10, 12.
i think those will keep me quite occupied. these exams will be highly difficult, as there is a possibility that i could fail any of them.
also working on readjusting lifestyle again.
maybe will post something more meaningful after exams.
victor
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)