people, i really can't be interesting all the time.

i don't think that i am a good conversationalist, and can easily kill any conversation. i can't usually think of good witty comments until after a conversation is over, and it's too late.

in fact, i'm quite a dull person. i am pretty boring. i hope that you can see that i usually try pretty hard, but it's my undeniable nature that i am a dull person.

i'm not interesting.

little victor strikes again

a big part of life is based on how you react to circumstances. if those circumstances are especially difficult, then life becomes a test of how well you can deal with it to lead to a desirable outcome.

my sleep schedule depends too, depends on where i am. during school.. i get to decide on my own. though the guys i live with, we try to keep an eye on each other, gotta be able to wake up in time for class, i would say that i have the most sporadic sleep schedule out of everyone in the house. usually i would aim for 1 or 2, usually doing work then. but on bad nights, i could be awake at like 430 or later, for no apparent reason. troubled mind, issues to think about. but that's not the point.. the point is.. that i usually aim to sleep at 1 or 2. in the beginning, around 11 or 12.. but ha that usually doesn't last.

but at home it's a different story. if i'm back at home, usually for work term.. then my family would want me to sleep at like.. 11 or earlier. they are very adamant on it too, and have not so good methods in coercing me to do so. drives me off the wall.

bad situations only lead to worse. left angry and disrespected, more doors open to darker paths. soon it becomes a inner war of self-control and self-discipline. the hardest kind.

yes, things are bound to be bad, everyone knows. but it's how you deal and react with things that make it better or worse, right? make one wrong decision, say one wrong word, and things will go downhill so easily. i must say that things haven't been fanstatic with me, and i've been going downhill a fair bit.

little victor strikes again. weird to see myself say this, but i start to see myself more and more like a kid, needing to learn about myself, what i want, and what i should strive to become. gotta pwn that victor jr.

poll

what time do you usually sleep on a weekday night?
who or what usually helps you to decide that and enforce that?

please enter your comments

God can speak to you at more opportunities than the last half hour before you sleep.

bombardier aerospace

so it's been a few days since i've been employed at bombardier aerospace. it's at wilson and dufferin, which is about a 20 minute drive from my place. even during rush hour yes.. i managed to find small street shortcuts to get me through rush hour traffic.

for those who don't know, i've also been doing a whole lot of nothing. reading manuals. chatting to ppl if i'm lucky enough to have the opportunity and the right things to say. socializing with adults is quite different than socializing with peers. would you think so?

it took me a day to get my own phone (which was actually just a phone from some guy that retired.. still had his voice messages in there), and i think it'd still take many days until i get my own computer. without it, i'll just be sitting there reading again. this week, bombardier is holding a conference at the royal york hotel. i get to go on wednesday, thursday and friday, so things would be a lot more interesting.. and that means a lot less sitting there reading! sweet.

though earlier i was just doing some math. after an 8 hour day at work, i get home at around 515.. i havta sleep at latest 1130. minus showering and eating and time like that.. i only get maybe 5 hours to myself each day. that doesn't sound like very much, does it?